ROSE AND SPARKLING
La Kiuva, Rose de Vallee 2012 (d’Aoste, Italy) $10
We fell hand in hand into the wet, freshly cut grass of my parents backyard. He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and I giggled. I bit into a ripe summer strawberry and pretended not to care. Then he pulled my face to his and we rubbed noses. His kiss was savory and the sun started to sink. Whether they were real or not I swear I saw fireworks.
Villa di Corlo Lambrusco NV (Emilia-Romagna, Italy) $11
The Etruscans were making this wine in 700BC so it’s had a long time to be perfected and in my opinion this is damn near. It’s nose is prominent (must be the Italian in it, yuck yuck yuck) and berry fruit sings, but the bitter finish is where it shines!
Also it’s sparkling red wine so it’s DOPE.
Gruet Brut NV (New Mexico, USA) $10
The Cadillac of domestic, affordable sparkling wines. Methode Champenoise, baby.
Notre Dame de Cousignac, Grenache 2010 (Cote du Rhone, France) $9
So like if this peachy keen, jellybean were going to be a character from Grease it would most def be Sandra D (pre “tell me about it, stud”). It’s that cute, super friendly girl in high school that you totally wanted to hate but couldn’t because she does everything right, but is just so nice about it. It’s got cider notes, honeyed fruit, soft minerality, and should be prom queen.
Rainer Wess, Gruner Veltliner 2011 (Kremstal, Austria) $11
This wine is as dry as Steven Wright, but with a touch of Eddie Izzard’s fruitiness. There’s enough minerals in here to save you on your daily vitamin intake, with a finish of tart meyer lemon, and baked apple. Oh, and the fact that it’s just slightly effervescent slaps you clean across the mouth (in the way you know you like it, dirty girl).
Château Lafont Fourcat, Muscadelle 2011 (Bordeaux, France) $10
Bordeaux? Psssh. More like bordello. This shit is SEXY. Were I to take a lover, move to the Caribbean, and sit on a beach oiling up my topless bod this would be sitting in the fucking sand next to me. It has got some major tropical fruit and citrus. Like for reals with the pineapple, melon, mango vibe. But it ain’t too sweet. She’s got a bite. Turn on some reggae, pass the dutchie, and shake your fucking coconuts!
Albino Piona, Bardolino 2011 (Verona, Italy) $11
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, Jem and the Holograms are playing a sold out show in the auditorium of your mouth. They’re really jammin’ in there. Complete with sweet blackberry colored hair, lip smacking bazooka joe kisses, and even a little bit of sparkle. This is truly, truly outrageous!
L’appel des Sereines, Syrah 2010 (Northern Rhone, France) $11
Like Jawbox’s song Savory there’s so much rich intensity in this hidden gem. Lots of vegetal notes here. Peppers, tomato, even a salty hint of bacon lingers here. Not as jammy as a typical Syrah but a smooth rich sense of grapefruit and bright boysenberry do shine through.
Château Plaisance Fronton, Negrette 2010 (Midi-Pyrénées, France) $10
If members of Burzum, Mayhem, and Darkthrone got together and sacrificed a goat inside of a church, then burned it down, stomped the ashes and then stirred them into a glass of wine you’d get this. This wine is black metal as fuck. Leather, tobacco, smoke, copper and cherry wood. HAIL FRONTON!